Effective Listening Skills

By Jayaram V

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Do you listen attentively, carefully and adequately? Do you listen intelligently, unassumingly, quietly and reflectively? Do you listen at all when others speak? Many people don‘t consider listening is as important as speaking.

If you want to be a good listener you have to cultivate right listening skills and become an effective listener. It is not sufficient to listen attentively now and then. You have to do it habitually and regularly to derive maximum benefit from your conversations and social engagements.

People generally prefer to talk rather than listen, because they like to be heard, understood, approved and appreciated. We speak to express our thoughts, form our relationships and fulfill our need for belongingness and social acceptance. We use speech as the most convenient means to establish control and dominance, further our interests and extend our zone of influence. We consider it as invaluable in forming and improving our relationships and in proving to others our intelligence, erudition and exceptional qualities.

We do not perceive similar advantages in listening. We consider it as a passive and inferior activity, fit for only the timid and the submissive. We equate it with apathy, weakness and submissiveness. Our attention is easily drawn to noise but rarely to silence. We believe that to be influential, we need to assert ourselves and express our thoughts and desires. The importance of listening, therefore, is rarely perceived, except in academic and professional fields.

There are certain risks associated with speaking in public, such as exposing your weaknesses in front of others, letting out your emotions or simply being misunderstood or misheard.

There are risks associated with listening also, like not being understood or not being able to convey your ideas or not being able to create a good impression. But these problems bother you only if you prefer to remain silent all the time and do not want to talk at all.

What is important is cultivating the right discretion to know when to talk and when to listen. You should practice listening not out of fear of speaking, but out of a strong commitment to improve your communication skills. You listen not because you want to impress others, but because you want to know the people with whom you communicate.

Those who are good at communication know the importance of listening. They will tell you that it is more important than even speaking.

When you listen attentively, you increase your knowledge of people, situations, the world and life in general and your chances of being friendly and agreeable...