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by Rick Valens
Feeling uncomfortable in the stomach, cold sweaty palm, trembling of
legs, losing the ability to think
correctly when approaching a girl?
Hate yourself for not able to overcome this problem? Oh, please do
not feel so. Believe me, you are not the only one facing this
problem. In fact, this is a very common problem in man. Everyone is
just like you, not willing to admit it openly, having the fear of
being laughed and mocked by others. But there is absolutely nothing
wrong for feeling so.
Well approaching a girl, asking her out for a date isn’t really
as scary as you thought. For all you may know, the girl is just as
or even more nervous than you. Some guys are born with the natural
flair with girls while some guys are just born shy. But that doesn’t
mean that they can’t do as good. In fact, shy men are who most
girls are looking for. It is really a pity that all the good men are
hiding up leaving the girls with not much of a choice but to hang
out with the jerks.
So how can you overcome your fear? Well, this is something that I
can’t help you. You simply just got to make that first step, that
very first attempt. Still feeling too nervous? Ok, perhaps we should
take things a little slower. There is actually no urgent need for
you to just walk up to a girl and ask her out for a date. Too
sudden? You might just scare her off. But please, don’t take for
ages before someone else try to cut in the queue. I don’t suppose
you memorized your whole school textbook before going for your
exams? It’s the same thing, you don’t need to wait till you
fully overcome your fear before you approach a girl.
Well anyway, I should believe that the both of you are at least
like normal friends? Classmates? Colleagues or? Whatever it is, grab
any chance to get closer to her. Too shy to strike a conversation
with her? Look her in the eyes, drop her a nice warm smile. Make her
notice you, make her remember you, let her know that you exist! You
be surprised, your eyes can actually work more wonders than to words
at times. All these will eventually boost the chance of success when
approaching her at a later date. She will naturally feel more
comfortable with you than to be approached by a total stranger.
Ok, now that you have done all of what you can do, no more
excuses from you! Stop hiding up, it’s time to make your move.
Now, I want you to follow very closely after me. Take a deep
breathe, gather all your courage. She is sitting all alone on the
bench under the tree. Slowly and steady, you walk towards her. Yes,
step by step getting nearer and nearer. She turns and saw you
approaching. Remember, she has seen you before, she knows who you
are. Now look her in the eyes, smile at her. She greets you with her
nice gentle smile. One final step, you stop in front of her. “Hi,
what a coincides to see you here”, you say to her in a nice,
friendly voice. “Busy with anything now? How about a little coffee
together?” Smiling so sweetly at you she replies teasingly, “Your
treat? Sure why not?”
Hey you still with me? Ha sorry, was just trying to play a little
game of hypnosis with you. Did I fare horribly? Well anyway, it
would really be so lovely if things were as what I had described?
Why not? Why couldn’t it be possible? You see, the problem with
most people is that they always tend to create negative thoughts;
creating an image of failure, an image of been rejected in their
mind before things actually happen. Subconsciously, they have
actually rejected themselves before anyone else could even reject
them and yes, the likely chances is they will fail. Just like in
soccer matches, when David Beckham scores from his spectacular free
kick? If at the moment before he even lifts his feet, he was
creating the image of ballooning away the ball over the goal post in
his mind, you think he will score? So why not picture things the
other way round, telling your mind; yourself that you are going to
make it? It will definitely boosts your confidence and the chance of
a success.
Hope you are feeling more comfortable and less nervous now? But
well, the chance of being rejected is nonetheless always still
there. So what should happen if you really fail? You should learn to
graciously accept the rejection. It is perfectly alright, my friend.
At least you know you have tried? You finally pluck out that
courage? There is nothing to feel ashamed of. Picture it this way;
you are the one being approached instead. Approached by a girl that
is not of your type. You would have rejected her as well, wouldn’t
you? But would you make fun of her, laugh and mock at her? I should
believe not? Instead, you would have felt happy and thankful to her;
it is just a pity that she is not your type of girl? That is exactly
how the girl whom rejected you would have felt too; it is just a
pity that you are not her type of guy. Nobody would be laughing at
you, probably they would be admiring you for your courage instead.
Though you might be rejected but believe me, once there is a
first time the rest will just come naturally. You might be sad and
disappointed but once you get yourself back, you would have
remembered that it wasn’t as scary what you had thought. You would
have probably already overcome a great deal of your fear. It is just
like the first time driving out on your own after getting your
license. For some unlucky ones, meeting up with a little accident.
But that doesn’t stop them from driving on? In fact, experiences
were gained. So was confidence along the way, driving more smoothly,
stepping even harder on the accelerator?
Well, rejection is part and parcel of life. It is not only in
love that you get rejected. In life, you are faced with more
rejections. Rejections from your work? Your boss? Your business
associates? Even your own family? But that won’t stop you from
moving on in life?
Last but not least, there is one thing you have to accept. The
fact that, you are a man! It is afterall still the guy’s job to do
the asking. You just gotta do it and I am sure you can do it yeah?
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