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by Dale Kurow
Have you gotten tons of career advice, solicited and unsolicited?
You nod when you hear it and think,
"Yeah, I know this
stuff." So, what else is new?
But what have you done with the advice? Fess up. Probably very
little.
Do any of these scenarios fit?
- You're in a job you absolutely hate. It's ruining your health
and your life. You stay because of the money or the fear that
there's nothing better out there.
- You're in a job where your boss ignores you, barks instructions
and expects you to be a workaholic. But you stay because a new boss
might be worse.
- You're lazy. You figure that one of these days, you'll hear
about a great job, the economy will improve, or maybe your boss will
realize how great you are. Plus, you don't have a resume.
- Or, you're unemployed and decide not to pursue a job that you
heard about, or a field you are interested in, because one person
said they were looking for experience you didn't have. Well, they
know best, right?
Hello. I want to grab you by the shoulders, look into your eyes
and say, "Wake up and smell the coffee!" Santa Claus is
not coming down your chimney, and Elvis has permanently left the
building.
So, why do otherwise savvy adults live with this passive mindset?
F-E-A-R. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of rejection. You
name it, fear has a starring role, with procrastination and laziness
as costars.
But there's help at hand!
I read a book 12 years ago, "Feel The Fear And Do It
Anyway" by Dr. Susan Jeffers, that changed my life. It has been
changing my clients' lives ever since.
The crucial thing I learned from this book is that everything
depends upon your attitude, your perception of the situation. Not
what happens. Not what people say or do. But how you view it.
So, you've heard that before, too, right? Has it changed the way
you tell yourself how to view what happens? I doubt it.
Here's the powerful stuff (and stuff I bet you've heard before,
too). Nobody changes his or her attitude without working at it. I'm
here to tell you that you need to work that attitude muscle, just
like you do your biceps at the gym. Otherwise, forget it.
You don't wake up one morning, optimistic, ready to take on the
world and feeling like Pollyanna. Especially if you're out of work,
hate your job or are just plain lazy.
So, how do you change your attitude?
Years of therapy. No, just kidding. Like exercising your biceps,
the attitude muscle needs work everyday. I recommend reading
Jeffers' book, cover to cover.
In the meantime, here are some tips:
Internal Dialogue exercises (you need to do these more than once
a day for starters):
- Change the dialogue you have with yourself. Instead of
thinking, "I'm afraid" or "I don't want to look
stupid," think, "I can handle that" or "I know I
will get a job."
- Instead of thinking, "Gee, that's a problem," think,
"It's an opportunity." If someone says, "You don't
have the kind of experience for that type of work," think,
"It's one person saying it; let me get more information."
- And forget about words like "should" or
"try." Ban them from your vocabulary. They are negative
and weak words. Own your power! You either will or won't.
When I first read Jeffers' book, I pasted positive quotes all
over the refrigerator and near my desk. I suggest you use quotes
that are meaningful to you.
Here's one I love:
"I'm not a failure if I don't make it .I'm a success because
I tried." Unknown
Finally, most people think they are the only one experiencing
gut-wrenching fear. NOT.
You are going to feel the fear whenever you are in new territory
(a good thing), but SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. This is one club you'll
want to join. Membership requirements-facing down your fear and
bravely moving forward despite it!
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