By Jayaram V
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Self-esteem is the way you feel about yourself and the way
you treat yourself. It is how you define yourself
yourself in your esteem. It is not only how you see yourself but
also how you think others see you.
Your well being, inner happiness, attitude, thinking, actions,
expectations, relationships, failures, accomplishments, social
skills, courage and confidence depend on your self-esteem. It
influences the way you respond to your life's challenges, other
people's opinions and your own inner critic, who keeps nagging
You may get away from unpleasant friends and relationships, stay
away from threatening or disturbing situations, but cannot
escape from yourself and your inseparable inner critic. People
with low self-esteem usually tend to show some of the following
- They develop low expectation about themselves.
- They believe they do not deserve better life.
- They are quick to blame themselves.
- They avoid taking risks.
- They suffer from fear of failure and fear of rejection.
- They seek the approval of others.
- They give more weight to the opinion of others.
- They lack true leadership qualities.
- They become overly defensive in leadership positions.
- They suffer from bouts of self-doubt, anxiety and stress.
- They enter into unhappy and unequal relationships.
- They react emotionally rather than rationally in difficult and
- They hesitate to express themselves honestly in the company of
- They rarely live in the present.
- They have a problem saying 'no' to others.
- They have a problem accepting 'no' from others.
- They suffer frequent bouts of self-doubt.
- They adjust to low pay and unhappy work situations.
- They are their own worst enemies, because they sabotage their
success and rarely stay at the top.
- They minimize their successes and focus on their failures.
Self-esteem is a product of experience. Very early in your
life, you form an opinion about yourself, which stays with you
for the rest of your life. Unless you bring a change in your
thinking and attitude, it remains in your consciousness and
influences the course of your life. If a child's self-confidence
is constantly eroded through mindless criticism, ill treatment
and unjustified comparison with others, sooner or later the
child would suffer from low self-esteem. If parents discriminate
among their children, it would cause heavy loss of self-esteem
among the least favored.
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