Achieving Success Through Self Actualization

by Jayaram V

The ultimate goal of all goals is not to have any goals. The real joy of living comes to us when we learn to go with the flow and accept life as it comes. This is the highest goal for the mankind, envisioned ages ago, by our saints and seers and prophets and incarnations. But it is not something that we all are equally prepared for or most of us can achieve in our life times. Till we reach there and make it the sole aim of our lives, by transforming our consciousness to the extent that it can hold the brilliance of such vision, without being perturbed by it, we need to think about and focus on the mundane aspects of our lives, as a preparatory stage in our spiritual evolution. Our soul's calling for self-realization manifests itself in many ways and one of it is our aspiration to realize our full potentialities in our physical and mental planes. The so called materialistic life is but an extension of our spiritual longing to fulfill the purpose of our creation and return to our source. Almost every major religion alludes to this fact by prescribing a moral code of conduct as a divine law, by following which we can regulate our lives and prepare ourselves for our spiritual journey. In Hinduism we find this approach more clearly, where we are advised to perform our obligatory duties, keeping in view the four major aims of human life, namely adherence to religious truths (dharma), wealth (artha), pleasure (kama) and salvation (moksha).

It is not difficult to be successful. If we do not succeed in our endeavors, it is because we have decided not to be. Some where in our minds, or in our subconscious, knowingly or unknowingly, we create limiting beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities, and deny ourselves the joys and comforts of life we are otherwise entitled to. We run a mental tape within our minds that keep telling us that either we do not deserve success or we cannot achieve it or we cannot sustain it. Very few people achieve success in their lives because a great majority suffer from this malady. They either make half hearted attempts, cursed by their own negativity and unsubstantiated doubts and anxieties or give up easily, before even the battles are really fought, choosing a way of life, which they believe to be normal and destined, like the bird that did not knew that it could fly because it never cared to use its wings.

People often tend to blame others for their failures, despite the abundance of evidence to the contrary. We may feel intensely and emotionally justified in blaming our parents, teachers, elders, peers, schools, government, children, friends or life partners for our lack of happiness and fulfillment. The truth is we are responsible for our lives. We create our reality according to our thoughts, desires, beliefs and actions. Others cannot interfere with our destinies, unless at some stage in our lives we give up our control and make ourselves vulnerable to them. When we are born, we are like the uncut diamonds, to be hewn and polished in a skillful way so that we can shine with our natural brilliance and excellence. This cutting and polishing job, however, has to be done mostly by ourselves, not by others. Others may help us in achieving it, but it is a job that has to be done mostly by ourselves, with our active participation, involvement and one hundred percent commitment.

Whatever may be the circumstances, the difficulties and challenges, we are all wired to be potentially successful in our lives. We are part of an extremely intelligent species in the universe, who know how to live in the most extenuating circumstances, adapting themselves to the world and its ever changing and unpredictable environment. History may record the contributions of a few well known people, but the world would not have been what it is today without the contribution of each and every individual who has lived on earth so far. Imagine how the absence of even a single person on earth a few centuries ago would have impacted the lives of at least a few million people, trees, plants and animals today!.

One of the most promising features of success is we see it happening every day, all around us. We see people who are successful, happy and fulfilled. We hear or read about them, see them or lucky enough to meet them and interact with them personally. Some of us are also touched by their actions and success, either directly or indirectly. The success of Bill Gates is not his alone. It is shared by billions of people today. Without it possibly you would not be reading this article. We may attribute a thousand reasons for the success achieved by people like him, but the truth is they make it happen to themselves. Neither age, not circumstances, nor physical and mental disabilities, nor color nor creed nor race nor language prevent them from using their true potentials and achieving success. If we have seen it happening to others we have to ask ourselves, why cannot we make it possible and what is holding us back?

Successful people are truly a blessing for the mankind. They provide us with an opportunity to study them and learn from them. Their biographies are revelations about human excellence and resilience to fight and survive in the most extenuating circumstances. We may not be able to duplicate their success exactly, but using them as our role models we can achieve success in our own unique ways and provide inspiration to millions of others who want to achieve the same level of success. Following are some of the secrets or methods used by successful people. Knowing them may help us in realizing our dreams and goals successfully.

1. Successful People Build Their Success Around Their Strengths

Successful people are good at using their dominant skills in doing what they love to do and in what they really excel. They have a good awareness of who they are and what their strengths and weaknesses are, and realistic enough to accept them as the foundation on which they can build their success. They use their strengths to the best of their advantage and plan adequately to deal with their weaknesses in intelligent and smart ways. They either seek other's help or overcome their weaknesses by hard work. They know how to use their assets and resources efficiently and effectively in creating success for themselves and others. Whatever may be their situation, they know in their hearts and minds that, no matter what, they can never be hundred percent perfect in their lives and that the best way to achieve success is by accepting their limitations realistically and centering their actions and plans around their strengths and God given gifts.

Realizing your strengths and weakness and your doubts and fears is therefore the first and foremost task you need to address on your path to success. With some training and effort, you can analyze yourself to know what you are good at and what your limitations are, to establish goals and harness your energies and resources to realize them. The following suggestions may help you to develop a fair view of your strengths and weaknesses and in what you may truly excel given the right effort.

With an open mind, become your own observer and look at yourself critically and analytically.
Doing introspection and analysis, make your conclusions as objective and unbiased as possible.
Write down all your findings and conclusions for further analysis and review.
Seek the help of others or even professionals to find out the blind spots or those aspects of your personality and behavior, which are unknown to you. If necessary take as many professional surveys and personality tests as you can afford. You can find these tests in magazines, on the internet and in books available in your local library. Make it a habit to file the results of all the tests you undertake.
If necessary, seek the help of your spouse or your close friend for an impartial and objective review of the list you have prepared.
Prepare a list of what you consider to be your strengths and your weaknesses or areas of improvement. To be more precise, use a scale of 1 to 5 to quantify them for more clarity.

2. Successful People Create Goals For Self Actualization

Successful people tend to rely mostly upon their strengths to achieve success. Their strategy is to make the best use of whatever strengths and assets they have and deal with their deficiencies in an appropriate manner so that they would not interfere with their success. For them success is a process of self expression or self-actualization. So they try to actualize their strengths and minimize the effect of their weaknesses. They reach their goals by doing what they love to do or what they are good at doing. Success is thus a by product of their self-expression or self-actualization. In this regard they are very close to nature. The beauty and grandeur of nature is a byproduct of routine energy transformation, which manifests itself in the blooming of a flower or the falling of rain or the flowing of a river.

This is the real secret of success. Do not aim for success per se, but for excellence in what you believe yourself to be the best. If you are sincere in your effort, success will follow. Know that your goals are but your desires clothed in words and your desires are but your heart's yearnings to make yourself complete and fulfilled. You cannot be different from what you are or capable of and your success cannot be independent of your strengths and weaknesses.

Many people, who attempt to achieve success in their lives, falter on the way because they do not set their goals properly. This happens because they do not create their goals according to their strengths and weaknesses. Trying to achieve success without proper goals that are not based on a proper evaluation of your strengths and weaknesses is like going to battle without a map and without a strategy. It makes your goal oriented effort such a relentless struggle, a great drama, often with tragic consequences. Instead, create goals according to your strengths and weaknesses to realize your ultimate dreams. It makes your goal oriented effort a positively fulfilling experience. Remember, there is no other secret to success than this: have precise and well defined goals based on your strengths and talents and work for them as if nothing else exists and nothing else matters, working around your deficiencies and weaknesses, which may interfere with your success, in smart and intelligent ways.

Following are some of the rules you may use to create appropriate goals in your life.

Decide what you actually want to achieve in your life.
Decide by using which of your strengths and overcoming which of your weakness you can reach there. Remember you can always strengthen your strengths by using them more often or by learning from others. As for your weaknesses, you can overcome them by sincere effort or by seeking the help or services of others. In either case you have to make sure which is the smarter way to do.
Create your goals based on the above evaluation. Remember you goals are actually the means for a still higher purpose.
Make your goals SMART, that is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely.
Write down your goals for easy reference and consistency.
Have both short term and long term goals and sure they do not contradict one another and that they are aligned to your major goal.
Select only the most important goals, which you can humanly achieve without being stressed and overwhelmed.
Prioritize your goals if necessary
Ensure that your goals are in harmony with your values, your sense of morality and personal ethics and that your pursuing them would not lead to unhappy spiritual and moral consequences for you and for others.
Express your goals in the present tense, as if you are already in the process of achieving them, rather than in some distant future.
Do not disclose your goals to others, especially to your friends and close relations. You may share it with your spouse, provided you believe that it would not dilute your enthusiasm or motivation.

Successful people are usually goal driven. They keep their goals to express and enhance what they are capable of and in the process experience a sense of fulfillment. Their goals are built around their strengths to make the best use of them. For most of them success is a part of their self-expression and self actualization, a process of giving what they have, doing better what they can, and overcoming some inadequacy or deficiency, by themselves or with the help of others, if it is going to help the process and to the extent necessary. They are not concerned with self-esteem issues as much as self actualization.

3. Successful People Are Always Focused and Committed to Their Goals

A goal well remembered is well achieved. Having created goals, successful people remain focused on them, never doubting their ability to accomplish them. They may keep their plans and short term goals flexible, but keep their long term goals unchanged, till they realize them completely. Using powerful affirmations, positive thinking and visualization techniques, they keep their resolve firm and engage themselves consistently in goal oriented actions. Failure do not deter them or slow down their pace. They accept them as learning opportunities and move on. Many people acknowledge the importance of goals, but do not put in the necessary effort. Then they go no further. They become stuck or their goals are easily forgotten. On the contrary, many successful people believe in the power of action. They are not satisfied with having a mere list of goals. They do not settle for mediocre or half hearted performance. They go full steam, testing their limits. If we want to take charge of our lives, we have to accept responsibility for our actions and inactions and whatever that happens to us. We must put in the necessary effort, cultivate the qualities and acquire the knowledge and skills that are necessary for our success. We have to tune up our thinking to make it useful in dealing with our fears and failures and the negativity of others. Most importantly, we have to prepare ourselves to make necessary sacrifices on our way to success, accepting failure as the price we pay to enter the hall of success, a place where hardly anyone ever gets a free pass or a discount coupon. Like many successful people, you too can make your commitment to your goals stronger and your goal oriented effort effective, by implementing some of the following rules.

Consider each goal as a project to be executed with great precision. Create detailed action plans in writing, specifying major mile stones and specific tasks for each of your goals. Specify with what resources and in what time frame you intend to accomplish them.
Be passionate about your tasks and goals. If you do not feel the passion, know that you have made some mistake in choosing your goals review and find out what has gone wrong.
Use your goals as affirmations to remain focused on them.
Seek the help of experts and skilled people wherever necessary, especially in the areas where you do not have the expertise.
Stick to your goals and the time frame. Review the progress at specific intervals.
Be persistent and perseverant in reaching your goals, whatever may be the difficulties and impediments. Consider your path to your goals one way, with no turning back.

4. Successful People Use The Power of Their Subconscious Minds

Most of us rely upon our conscious minds to execute our decisions. But our conscious minds are clumsy and limited in capacity. They take their own time to implement our decisions, with no guarantees that they would manifest reality as intended. More powerful than the conscious mind is the subconscious, with unimaginable power and unfathomable reach. Many successful people excel in using this vast power house to manifest their goals. People have been using their subconscious minds since ancient times, referring it by many names, such as guardian self, angelic self, inner guide, higher self and so on. Its use however remained mostly unknown to the general public till recently. The subconscious mind is probably much larger in potential and capability than the conscious mind. Its mechanism is mostly an enigma. What we know is that it is non-judgmental, affirmative and always responsive to our convictions, beliefs and suggestions. It works rather invisibly and mysteriously, in the background, manifesting whatever we desire or envision strongly, propelled by our thoughts and beliefs. Some people know how to use it successfully to realize their goals and dreams. With some effort, we all can learn to use it effectively. The following suggestions may prove helpful.

Believe in the power of your subconscious. This is very important. Your subconscious mind is like the genie of Aladdin. Your wish is its command. It acts as a mirror of your thoughts and beliefs. If you believe that it has no power or does nothing for you, it honors your beliefs and acts powerless. Imagine having a beautiful car and never using it because you believe you cannot own a beautiful car and if you have it, it must be of no use! So is the case with the subconscious in case of many people. Your subconscious mind is a vast powerhouse. If you do not know how to use it, it will keep in total darkness.
The best way to communicate with your subconscious mind is to use positive affirmations repeatedly till they become part of it. Positive affirmations also help you in neutralizing your negative thoughts and reprogramming your mind in the right direction, so that you can make your subconscious work for you.
Think of your goals in the present tense, as if you are already in the process of realizing them.
Avoid negativity in your conscious mind so that it will not manifest your negative thoughts, much to your disappointment.
Remember you can ask your subconscious, but cannot force it. It executes your wishes in its own time frame. So having sown the seed, wait for the results patiently, with full conviction.
Your subconscious mind understand images better than words. So visualize your goals in great detail, as if you are seeing a movie on a screen, missing no detail. Let you subconscious know clearly what it needs to do to manifest your goals.
Do not tell your subconscious how to achieve your goals. You can tell what you want. You can ask for a favor. But how it executes your commands is entirely its business. Trust its intelligence and leave the process of manifestation entirely to itself.
Make sure that you remove every bit of negativity from your system. Every negative thought in your mind is a poison, which your subconscious will try to manifest, with as much sincerity as it does your positive thoughts.
Use your subconscious mind as your mentor or guide and a gift from God. Use it responsibly, as your powerful ally, appreciating its value in your life and always expressing gratitude for the help you receive.
Never try to use your subconscious mind to harm others. The consequences will be devastating for you.

To gain a good understanding of your subconscious mind, read books which deal with the subject of subconscious, such as Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hil, an older version of which is available at SDRCenter.com, which deals with the subject in some detail.

5. Successful People Build Effective Partnerships and Relationships

Successful people know the importance of partnerships and relationships in accomplishing their goals. Their success is built partly on their networking and relationship skills. They know how to find people, with whom they can work on a long term basis and benefit from their knowledge, expertise and skills. They recognize the right people, who can help them in the areas where they lack knowledge or expertise. They look for people, who can bring diversity and distinction to the table. Their relationships are usually based on the principles of equality, integrity, respect, gratitude, appreciation, sharing and trust. You too can build effective relationships by following rules like the ones mentioned below.

Build relationships from the perspective of your goals, finding people who can help you and with whom you can share your success and your vision.
Recruit partners, who can complement your effort and deal with your weak areas.
Be specific about what role and the participation you expect from others and make it clear to them. Also find out what they expect from you, so that you will have a clear understanding of what you give and what you receive.
Let your relationships be based on mutual give and take. A one sided relationship will not survive for long. Either you will lose your business or your partner or both.
Know the difference between a personal relationship and a professional relationship and do not cross the line, even under most tempting circumstances.
When you hire professional partners, give them adequate authority and opportunity to exercise their skills and talents to the best of their ability. Provide them with the right environment that is conducive to the best performance and reward them suitably for their successes. Also give them genuine feedback to help them improve themselves. Respect their independence and their right to privacy.
Be a leader, sharing your vision and showing the way, seeking your team's cooperation and expertise, without the compulsion to control them or force them into submission.

Conclusion

To be successful you need to have meaningful and well defined goals. You should have characteristics such as conviction, commitment, determination, relationship skills, integrity, perseverance, faith, passion, the ability to visualize your success in the present, thinking positively, and willingness to go all the way, undeterred by the difficulties and challenges. You have to be consistent in what you do and keep doing it till you achieve your goals. Once you achieve success, you need to be prepared to manage it, because managing success is as challenging as achieving success, if not more. Besides all these, you also have to know clearly what success actually means to you. Is it acquiring wealth, inner peace, happiness, sense of belongingness and fulfillment, to be able to help others and be useful, or a combination of all these and even more? If you do not have a proper definition of success, you may end up choosing wrong goals or using wrong means or moving in a wrong direction. The good news is most of us have the potential to be successful by giving full expression to our strengths with sincere effort. Neither age nor gender nor family status nor financial status can limit our success, if we are determined, intelligent and persevere. The best way to achieve success is doing what you love and align your goals to what you can do. Integrity and character are essential part of this mission. They come with discipline and cultivation of virtue and by understanding your intentions and motivation clearly. Remember, you can build success only on the pillars of your strengths, by transforming them into tangible reality.