Change your Life by Changing from Within

Self-help

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by Jayaram V

Success and failure, both begin from within. You are the means to what you experience or achieve. If you are fit, perfect and ready, you will tide over your problems and reach your goals. No one can do it for you except yourself.

If you really want to change anything in your life, that change must start from within. Whether you want to deal with a problem, weakness, some form of adversity, a troubled relationship, a hostile adversary, a self-destructive attitude or behavior or the general direction of your life, the change must start from within. You can do it by paying attention to your predominant thoughts, desires, wants, fears, hopes, concerns and aspirations.

Without proper alignment between what you are and what you want to achieve or between your desires and goals or between your abilities and aspirations, it will be difficult to sustain your motivation and energy, or your motivation and enthusiasm, as you translate your vision into reality. Before you venture into anything, you must be convinced about your own suitability or your abilities and potentials. Without that, you may not make right decision, choose the right course of action or right goals or you may feel stuck in a profession or situation you do not like.

To achieve success in any field, first you have to work on yourself. It is in the same way a soldier train himself to be fit and strong enough with necessary fighting skills and mental makeup or the way an apprentice acquires basic knowledge and skills before taking up a regular job. Here are five steps which are important to succeed in any venture.

  1. Know what you want to accomplish in life and establish clear goals.
  2. Know what it takes to reach them
  3. See where you stand with regard to your knowledge, competency, skills and preparedness.
  4. Try to fill in the gap through sustained practice, education and training.
  5. Keep adapting and improving until you reach your goals.

Of them the second and third steps are crucial, because the next ones depend upon them. If you are not correct in your self-evaluation, you will make mistakes in your preparation as well as effort. Hence, at this stage you must be extremely honest with yourself and keep challenging your own assumptions, fears and prejudices to know the truth of yourself. It is the effective way to know objectively where you stand in relation to your goals and how equipped you are to reach them.

The self-evaluation cannot be a one-time effort. You have to invest enough time and energy to keep improving your knowledge, skills, preparedness and suitability so that you are not taken by surprise by unforeseen events or insurmountable difficulties. With constant preparation and readiness, you can readily adapt to new challenges and changing circumstances with enough knowledge and flexibility.

You are the source of all that happens to you. Therefore, when you have a problem or difficulty see how may have caused it and by changing which aspect of your personality, thinking or attitude, you can deal with it or avoid a similar one in future. Each time you want to do something, change something, resolve something or accomplish something, you have to repeat this process as the first essential step.

Equally important to remember is how familiar you are with your own emotions and feelings and how much attention you pay to them. Consider them to be a measure of your success, happiness and wellbeing. If you are not happy with what you are doing or what you have achieved, it means you have faltered somewhere and fell out of sync with yourself. See what inner changes are necessary to deal with the situations and overcome your negative thoughts and emotions. It is possible you may be sabotaging your own success with negative and self-destructive thoughts and attitudes.

Your life and personality take shape in your mind. Your effort and achievement or success also take shape in your mind as thoughts only. Random events and extraneous factors may have an impact upon your actions or your progress. However, the ability, wisdom and knowledge to deal with them and overcome them arises from within your mind only.

At the thought level, you must know through introspection how you can change from inside to change your life from outside. Without that inner change, you may not succeed in your transformative effort. The change must arise from within, first as an idea. Then, and with conviction and determination, it must translate into intelligent action. The result of any action is not entirely in your hands. However, you have control over what you can do and how you can respond in any given situations.

Therefore, if you want to achieve anything in life, begin paying attention to your thoughts, desires and beliefs. Find out what you are good at, what knowledge and skills and what strengths and weakness you have. Know what will make you happy and fulfilled or what will bring you peace, prosperity and happiness. See in what aspects you can improve, to improve or change your life or circumstances. Attune yourself to your circumstances, changing what you can and adapting to what you cannot, and prepare yourself for a life of success and happiness, taking help from others if necessary.

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