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by Jayaram V
Said Yagnavalkya: it is not, indeed, for the husband's sake (kamaya) that the husband is dear, but for the sake of the self that the husband is dear
..." Brihadaranyaka Upanishad {IV.5.6}
According to Hinduism, marriage between two souls is a very sacred affair
that stretches beyond one life time and may continue up to at least seven lives. A husband and wife chose to come together more due to spiritual reasons than sexual, though they may not be mentally aware of the reasons for their decision to come together.
In their married relationship a husband and his wife are expected to carry out their respective traditional roles as householders and work for each other's material and spiritual welfare. On the earthly plane, a couple symbolically represent the same relationship that exists at the universal levels between the Purusha and Prakriti. Like the two Universal Principles they are supposed to:
i. participate in the creation of progeny
ii. work for the general welfare of the family.
iii. respect Dharma and family order by following and respecting all traditions.
iv. Help the poor and the needy.
v. look after each other in the old age.
vi. assist each other in their spiritual progress and seek salvation together.
According to Hinduism, the roles of a husband and wife are parallel, supposed to compliment each other, instead of contradicting. In marriage two individuals of opposite sex come together to make their individual lives complete and perfect.
A man is incomplete without his wife who occupies and shares half of his body and consciousness. So does a woman without her husband.
A Hindu marriage is not a mere social ritual but a religious covenant between man and gods as to the welfare of the woman and her progeny involved. The bride is not just a woman but a gift from the heavens. During the marriage ceremony she first marries the Vedic gods amidst chanting of slokas. Only after that the priest performs the marriage ceremony between the bride and the bride groom.
The husband therefore has a divine obligation to respect the position of his wife in his life and family. The wife on the other hand is expected to see the divine (self) in her husband and help him carry out his householder's duties and responsibilities.
These beliefs and practices still hold good in many Hindu families and keep many marriages intact and alive, unlike in many western countries, where marriage as an institution is in serious crisis.
Further Suggested Reading
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