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by Dorene Lehavi
1) Listen without judgment. The key to good communication is
listening well. Save your judging for
later after you have heard and
understood what was said.
2) Listen with the willingness to be swayed to the other person's
opinion. No obligation to actually being swayed, but stay open to
the option.
3) Listen without thinking about what you will say next. Take
time before you respond.
4) Do not be invested in being right. Being right is not the
point. If you must be right, you are not able to listen nor
communicate because you have set up a barrier already. If you are
always right that means the other person is always wrong. That
cannot be true.
5) If your mind wanders, ask for repetition. We all are subject
to distraction. Try to stay focused.
6) In all cases repeat back what you heard and ask if it is
correct.
7) Listen to yourself. Find quiet moments and pay attention to
what you are hearing from yourself. Does your body tighten up about
certain issues. Body language is not something to read only in other
people.
8) Say it honestly, but with consideration for the listener's
feelings. Be polite, respectful and sincere.
9) Understand and acknowledge that most things are not black or
white, but somewhere in a gray area. Get comfortable with gray.
10) Have integrity and build trust. Don't say what you don't
mean. Don't promise what you won't or can't fulfill. Follow through
with any commitments you make.
Good listening skills take practice. Specific coaching may be
necessary if you find you have communication issues with your boss,
colleagues, subordinates, partners or personal relationships.
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