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by Althea DeBrule
One of the most frightening things a person can experience in
life is to be out of control. It is part of
our nature to take
charge, direct and have power over things, situations and people. It
is perfectly normal to want to be in control of your life. But when
that control extends to imposing your will upon and dominating
everyone else around you as well, then you are out of control!
Some of us have a higher need to control than others.
Unfortunately, when this need becomes excessive, we turn into
control freaks…you know…those people who insist on having their
way and being in charge of every situation.
Control freaks insist on running the show and calling all the
shots. They are skilled at manipulation and intimidation, and work
extremely hard to keep everything around them in check.
What about you? Are you a control freak? Consider these five
descriptors:
Wise in your own eyes. You believe that your wisdom and advice is
far better than that of everyone else you meet, and you are always
prepared to dispense it freely.
Only your input is valid. You enjoy expressing your opinion in
conversations and meetings, but hate it when other people follow
suit. You discourage the input and feedback of others, and feel
threatened by it.
An obsession with everything you do. You constantly evaluate,
analyze, review and re-check everything you do to the point of
paralysis.
Perfectionism. If you want things done right, then do it
yourself, is your motto. You are convinced no one else can do things
properly when left alone and according to your extremely high
standards.
Stressed-out. You don’t eat or sleep very well because of
anxiety and worry that things may go wrong. Instead of using your
imagination to come up with creative solutions to problems, you
spend more time daydreaming about the worst that could happen.
How did you do? If you identify with every one of these descriptors,
then it is most likely obvious to everyone (and now also to you)
that you are a control freak. If you only matched with a few then,
there is hope for you yet!
Overcome Control Freak Tendencies
Engage in personal discovery. Identify what is at the heart of
your need to always be in control of everything. Spend some time
reflecting on the circumstances that have contributed to your high
control need; then develop several actions you can take to overcome
these control freak tendencies, and make sure you implement them.
Learn the art of flexibility and self-control. You don’t have
to know or do everything! Practice give-and-take. If you give others
a chance to contribute and share their opinions, then you will
receive (take) untold benefits resulting from the diversity of
thought, ideas and creativity.
Balance your priorities. It is impossible for two or more things
to have number one priority status. Face the fact that your boss and
co-workers each have their own set of priorities. Stop imposing your
list on them. Instead, collaborate and develop a mutually agreeable
list that can be tackled in the shortest time possible with high
standards of excellence.
There are times when each one of us is a little controlling. We want
to do an excellent job or complete a project on time and under
budget. However, if you are not careful, a tendency to over-control
things will stifle, neutralize and keep you from succeeding.
To avoid this catastrophe...today, take a personal inventory of
your control tendencies and ask someone you trust to help you
re-program your behavior for success.
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