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by Jamie Jefferson
"Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from
their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this
message when working with people." -- Mary Kay Ash
If practiced, this could be one of the most life-changing
pieces of advice. In any relationship, whether it's a spouse,
child, client, colleague, or casual acquaintance, the best way to
make a lasting impression is to take the time to make others feel
genuinely valued.
Here are four tips to help you make others feel more important.
1. Greet everyone you meet with enthusiasm. Have you
ever called someone on the telephone - or met them somewhere --
and they greeted you with such energy and enthusiasm that you felt
they must truly adore you? A greeting of ardent and genuine
enthusiasm sets the tone for your entire encounter. It's such a
simple skill (the hardest part is remembering to do it) but if you
CAN remember, it will enliven all of your relationships. This
skill can be particularly life-changing when practiced with your
children. A simple show of enthusiasm and appreciation when a
child walks in the room can have a miraculous effect on the
relationship.
2. Slow down. Take the time in conversation to really
listen. While someone is talking, focus on taking in what he or
she is saying in words, tone, and body language instead of
thinking about what you are going to say next. Relax and listen
before responding. As you practice this form of deep listening,
work on identifying the other person's needs. Put your own needs
aside during the conversation and focus on determining what *they*
need today. Imagine that each encounter is like a brief interlude
in what may otherwise be a hectic day. Slow down and savor the
connection you can make with another person, even in a casual
conversation.
3. Work on remembering the details of past conversations and
encounters. Ask about the things they confided to you. How did
her business presentation go? How is his ailing father? It's often
helpful to make little notes to remind you to ask about something
or someone the next time you meet. This simple skill shows people
that they are important to you.
4. Appreciate the small things that people do for you and
never pass up an opportunity to say thank you. It doesn't have
to be anything fancy...a few kind words or even a simple note is
plenty. Find simple and small ways to show appreciation and caring
to those you love. Maybe it's bringing home takeout when your
spouse has been home all day with a sick child. Maybe it's making
a quick phone call to your mother. As you go through your day, be
thinking of how you can take a step toward recognition and
appreciation. When you make the people around you feel important,
you create a climate of trust and mutual appreciation, which can
change your life in ways large and small. Try it today.
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