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I. The Virtue of Friendliness
A monk is expected to be mindful of the feelings of friendliness
towards all living things. He is expected to cultivate assiduously
this all embracing virtue of friendliness for the whole world, starting
in the morning and continuing throughout the day. "Staying, walking
or sitting, or lying down, till he falls asleep, he should remain
in this state of mind." (Sutta Nipata)
In order to achieve this the monk is expected to detach himself
mentally from his own body and look upon himself and all the beings
in the world with true friendliness and love. After spreading the
feeling of love in all directions, he should practice the same with
other three virtues, namely, compassion, joy and equanimity. It
is believed that the practice of friendliness and unbound compassion
contribute to universal peace and welfare of the world.
The practice of friendliness would finally lead to gentleness
of character, positive state of mind, inner peace, freedom from
conceit, absence of anger, inner joy and eventually freedom from
birth and death. (From Kuddhakapatha)
II. Admirable friendship kalyanamittata
The definition
"And what is meant by admirable friendship? There is the case
where a lay person, in whatever town or village he may dwell, spends
time with householders or householders' sons, young or old, who
are advanced in virtue. He talks with them, engages them in discussions.
He emulates consummate conviction [in the principle of kamma] in
those who are consummate in conviction, consummate virtue in those
who are consummate in virtue, consummate generosity in those who
are consummate in generosity, and consummate discernment in those
who are consummate in discernment. This is called admirable friendship."
— AN VIII.54
A cause for the development of skillful qualities
"With regard to external factors, I don't envision any other
single factor like friendship with admirable people as doing so
much for a monk in training, who has not attained the heart's goal
but remains intent on the unsurpassed safety from bondage. A monk
who is a friend with admirable people abandons what is unskillful
and develops what is skillful."
— Iti 17
Choose your companions with care
"These are the four drains on one's store of wealth: being debauched
in sex; being debauched in drink; being debauched in gambling; and
having evil people as friends, associates, and companions. Just
as if there were a great reservoir with four inlets and four drains,
and a man were to close the inlets and open the drains, and the
sky were not to pour down proper showers, the depletion of that
great reservoir could be expected, not its increase. In the same
way, these are the four drains on one's store of wealth: being debauched
in sex, being debauched in drink, being debauched in gambling, and
having evil people as friends, associates, and companions."
— AN VIII.54
A prerequisite for Awakening
"If wanderers who are members of other sects should ask you,
'What, friend, are the prerequisites for the development of the
wings to self-awakening?' you should answer, 'There is the case
where a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, & colleagues.
This is the first prerequisite for the development of the wings
to self-awakening.'" — AN IX.1
The whole of the holy life
As he was sitting there, Ven. Ananda said to the Blessed One,
"This is half of the holy life, lord: admirable friendship, admirable
companionship, admirable camaraderie."
"Don't say that, Ananda. Don't say that. Admirable friendship, admirable
companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the
holy life. When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions,
& colleagues, he can be expected to develop & pursue the noble eightfold
path.
"And how does a monk who has admirable people as friends, companions,
& colleagues, develop & pursue the noble eightfold path? There is
the case where a monk develops right view dependent on seclusion,
dependent on dispassion, dependent on cessation, resulting in relinquishment.
He develops right resolve...right speech...right action...right
livelihood...right effort...right mindfulness...right concentration
dependent on seclusion, dependent on dispassion, dependent on cessation,
resulting in relinquishment. This is how a monk who has admirable
people as friends, companions, & colleagues, develops & pursues
the noble eightfold path.
"And through this line of reasoning one may know how admirable friendship,
admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole
of the holy life: It is in dependence on me as an admirable friend
that beings subject to birth have gained release from birth, that
beings subject to aging have gained release from aging, that beings
subject to death have gained release from death, that beings subject
to sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair have gained release
from sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair. It is through
this line of reasoning that one may know how having admirable friendship,
admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole
of the holy life."
— SN XLV.2
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Suggested Further Reading
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Source::
Admirable friendship kalyanamittata has been
reproduced and reformatted from Access to Insight edition ©
2005 For free distribution. This work may be republished,
reformatted, reprinted, and redistributed in any medium. It is
the author's wish, however, that any such republication and
redistribution be made available to the public on a free and
unrestricted basis and that translations and other derivative
works be clearly marked as such.
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