10 Steps To A Worry-free Life

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It is easier to theorize about worry and suggest solutions to it rather than cure it completely with the known methods of therapy because our vulnerabilities are such that even small concerns of our daily lives can lead to worry and anxiety. Since the earliest times, people have been searching for viable solutions to deal with the problem of human  suffering, of which worry and anxiety are the most visible, common and familiar experiences. Worry does not discriminate between rich and poor or strong and weak. Almost everyone suffers from some form of worry for both known and unknown reasons. There are many physical, genetic and psychological factors which are responsible for this rather negative state of mind. Sociological and cultural factors also play an important role in shaping human personality and how people respond to various situations in their lives.  Among them most curable are those which are learned responses acquired overtime in our early lives. From a worldly perspective, it is perhaps unrealistic to expect complete freedom from worry and anxiety. Some worries help us to cope with the threats and dangers present in our environment and prepare us for the battles of our lives. Some may alert us to the situations we may likely face in the future. Some worries may also be intuitive. In the following essay, the author suggests ten important ways to deal with worry and anxiety and establish a firm foundation for happiness, peace and harmony. Jayaram V

Louise Morganti Kaelin

1. Identify and live by your values.
When we know what our values are, and our goals and actions are in harmony with our values, we are seldom stressed or in conflict about what we are doing.

2. Complete the Past
Sometimes we hang on to voices or perceived injustices from the past, long after the person or situation is dead and gone. By bringing closure to these events, we are free to move forward.

3. Plan for the Future.
It is important to know where we want to go and to have a rough idea of how we plan to get there. While it is important to give up final control to God or the Universe, we need a sense of focus and direction to our lives. Planning for the future gives us that sense of direction.

4. Live in the Present.
This is key. Once we have completed the past and planned for the future, we need to stay focused in the here and now. There is very little that we cannot handle in the moment. (A clue: if you are feeling guilt, you are in the past. If you are feeling fear, you are in the future. The absence of those feelings generally means you are planted firmly in the present!) .

Chronic worries
Some worries are self-created. We create them because of our exaggerated fears and irrational thinking. When you are caught in the warp of negativity and worrisome thoughts, it is difficult to extricate yourself from the self-created hells of your mind and think positively and rationally. Some worries stay in our consciousness persistently like relics of the past and refuse to disintegrate. They are painful memories that refuse to budge, long after the situations that created them happened. Pay attention to your persistent worries and understand the habitual thought patterns that create them. Dispute the negativity with logic, facts and counter thoughts. It is difficult, but you should try. Even after a long therapy you may still be haunted by old habits of your mind and feel overwhelmed by the weight of your past. The trick is in knowing that your present is different from your past and conditions that influence your life have changed. Jayaram V

5. Understand that if you can dream it, you can achieve it.
If we are -- truly -- not capable of something, then it is practically impossible for us to dream about it. Knowledge of what we are capable of is in each and every cell of our being. So no matter how wild and far-fetched your dream appears, the very existence of the dream means that you can achieve it if you are willing to commit to it.

6. Allow others to live their own lives.
Allowing others to be themselves and to live their own lives is the first step in being able to be yourself and living your own life. If you have any 'shoulds' or expectations of others, let them go. Shoulds kill relationships faster than any weapon I know of and fill our lives with unnecessary stress.

7. Recognize God in everyone.
Everyone (literally, everyone!) is a reflection of God. Sometimes we have to dig a little deep to see it as our perceptions, expectations and fears cloud our vision. But when we can recognize how God is mirrored in each person, our lives are calmer and freer!

8. Create reserves where you need them.
Stress is often created through lack, either right now or right around the corner. Create reserves of time, space, money, love, vitality and meaningful action, starting where you feel most stressed.

9. Focus on being and not doing or having.
When we are focused on who we are, what kind of person we are, we tend to be on a journey of spiritual evolution, which in itself tends to have less stress (or the stress is less stressful!). When we are focused on doing or having, we are not focused on our higher selves, but only on certain dimensions of who we are (and usually on what we think that means). Be a being, not a doing!

10. Choose to be the best you possible.
Making a choice to be our best selves, to live life to our fullest potential, typically allows us to transcend our lives and reduces much stress because we understand that the source of stress is temporary. Also, don't forget that today, you are the best you've ever been! Revel in that fact.

Suggestions for Further Reading

Author: Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). Visit her website for many free resources to help you be your best self.

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