by Jayaram V
Negotiation is an important activity of our lives. Knowingly or
unknowingly
we negotiate almost every day, with our friends, with
strangers, with our colleagues and bosses, family members and some times even
with ourselves. We use negotiation to achieve our goals, realize our
expectations, work out a compromise or simply avoid trouble with
others. Sometime we negotiate to help others resolve their
problems.
Negotiation is a decision making or problem solving process
involving two or more parties who are in a state of conflict with
opposing interests, concerns, values, justification and
expectations, the resolution of which would seem to precipitate the
possibility of promoting the interests of one at the cost of the
other. In simple terms negotiation is a method of working out a
compromise or agreement in which the parties to the negotiation try
to achieve their mutual goals in a realistic and practical manner through a process of give and
take using effective communication.
From a negotiator's point of view, negotiation is a
balancing act in which emotions need to be managed and expectations
need to be tempered and the final agreement need to be acceptable to
all the parties concerned. The almost impossible task of a
negotiator in a negotiation process is how to maximize gains and
minimize losses for both the parties so that every one in the end
feels comfortable with what has been agreed upon.
To be a successful negotiator, you have to cultivate a good
combination of qualities and skills which together will ensure your
success as a negotiator. A good negotiator recognizes the needs and compulsions of the parties involved, but does not lose sight of the
fact that he or she has a role to play. Following are some of
the important qualities of a good negotiator:
- open mindedness
- objectivity,
- rationality
- generosity and kindness
- courage,
- high self esteem,
- empathetic,
- pragmatic
- friendly
- leadership
- good communication
- pro active,
- intuitive
- willingness to accept and let go of failure.
By following certain discipline and observing certain rules you can become
a good negotiator. The following suggestion may help you in that direction.
Negotiate neither in a hurry, nor under pressure. Even if you have a compulsion to do so , it is better not to show any signs of desperation or urgency, because if the other party notices it, it may put you in a vulnerable position. Keep always the goals of your negotiation very clearly in your mind. If you are part of a group, let the group show no
signs of any disunity or disagreement within the group to the other side. Know your own limitations and obligations while offering your terms
and conditions for an agreement. Be very clear about your position and goals. The clearer you are at this stage the better it will be for you
later on. Keep the dialogue going even under difficult situations. Know that without communication there is no negotiation. Show no signs of hostility or contempt for the other party. This will
not only aggravate the conflict and make the negotiation difficult but
also weaken your hold on the negotiation process. Consider each offer from the other side carefully because negotiating situations tend to get tougher and tougher with each
successive stage of failure. Do your homework seriously. Support your arguments with facts and figures. Negotiation is a decision making process.
So the more information you use the lesser are the chances of emotions
taking hold of the negotiation process. Be attentive during negotiations. Listen, empathize and observe. Pay attention to your tone and tenor and use a persuasive language. Sound
optimistic. Keep calm under all circumstances. Do not reveal your mind, nor display any sign of nervousness or hesitation.
Stay calm, stay rationale and keep working for your goals. Satisfy reasonable wants and demands of the parties concerned. Be firm but polite
about what you can or cannot do. Pay attention to non verbal communication, including your own body
language and posture. Aim for win-win situations. Do not offer anything unless the other side is willing to negotiate and work out a compromise. Meet a concession with a concession. Remember winning an argument is not important. Sometimes it is better
to allow your opponents to save their faces gracefully. Be careful and cautious in your utterances and promises. Keep your
promises and promise only that which you can deliver. If negotiations fail, do not close the doors, and do not make statements that lead to controversy. Accept set backs but do not give up. If negotiations fail in the
first stage take initiative to restart the process. Build relationships. This is the key to successful negotiations in the long run. Do not cheat or mislead through the clever use of language.
Negotiation is not a game of trickery or deception, but a process of
maintaining and repairing relationships for lasting solutions.
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